woo hoo!

i feel pleased and happy with myself!

One, cos i gave back the one person i hated with all my might a good dose of what i felt and bloody scared person later quickly said sumthng n logged out of chat before i replied! hah! bloody b**** i could cut u with a knife and serve u to dogs! yeah, i can sound mean and raw when it comes you! the only person i've given to so much n hated so much more! rot, rot, rot!
Two, me n Jini got wet like two kiddos n danced to 'Khabar Nahi' in the rain. we took snaps, splashed water on each other, collected hailstones and laughed endlessly over what we were doing! :D

the two sides of a coin!
such is life! :)

...

Agreed, sometimes situations are not in our hand.. but what when circumstances are in ur very hands and u let go?
I believe, emotions, should not be let to take the better of us!

:)

i finallyyyy did!! :D

also, i checked my mails for a record number of times in the day today to see if i had recieved the wedding pics.. alas, me n my hopes! :(

:|

yesterday i planned to finish some part of my studies before i went to sleep, so that i could finish the important parts the next whole day! was very sleepy n tired by the time i went to bed around 1am. jus half n hr later i was woken up by this call from my bro giving me updates on whats happening at the wedding! as luck would have it, my sleep completely vanished n i couldn't concentrate anymore either! so, i tossed n turned n "tried" to sleep. ultimately, tiredness got the better of me n i slept in a rather uneasy manner. woke up at 8am with a rather heavy head n then couldn't concentrate on a word of what i was studying all day!
then comes the best news, my cousins n my half family are going to chandigarh! :(
that't it! all that was left to my imperfectly perfect day had been done!
as it is i hadn't been studying n now the bleak chances of what remained too were lost!
went online, chatted a little, cribbed a little, phoned a little, cribbed a little, ate a little, cribbed a little n finally studied very little!
right now, m blogging n i have a paper tomorrow! :|

damn! :|

today, as soon as i was bout to enter the exam hall, papa said "...and don't worry bout ur paper, we'll go to manali in june!" :)
that jus made me so so happy! i said "chandigarh too!", and he jus smiled at me!
i've been making all these glorious post-exam plans for long now.. and today probably when he saw i was a little worried bout the paper, he jus tried his bit to cheer me up! cheer me, he did! jus yesterday i was wondering how i would feel if my papers weren't too good and dad would still take me to my cousin's place in chandigarh.. it wud make me feel horribly guilty! and then today it jus happened that my paper actually wasn't good! it wouldn't hurt me so much, but the fact that everyone else kept writing when i was long done made me feel very uneasy! it was a full theory paper and some questions weren't common to the parts i had done well.. so i jus did whatever i knew really fast n then jus sat there watching others race against time! i kept revising the paper for ages until i finally decided i could take it no longer.. also, i had spent respectable time in the exam hall to make it appear that i knew enough n did enough, yet finished the paper early! hah! :D
well, that doesn't make me feel any less guilty now! i jus wanna give my last paper really really well.. i dunno, jus so tired these days cos of the heat! i feel sleepy n inattentive.. i really don't know how m gonna score.. more that that it bothers me others will do well, well, not all others jus some specific people!
damn damn damn, damn everything!
people njoyin at the marriage while i slog.. not that i care sooo much, but then i told this to dad that my results better be extremely good to off-set my loss of not attending the wedding!
its a bleak vision, a fading dream......

i miss u delhi..

i had waited so much for this day.. inspite of all the adversities, i had been optimistic n rather hoping for a miraculous way out! but neither did the event get postponded nor my exams! i really don't see why everytime there is something u really really wish for, n its right there, but jus at the moment its in ur reach.. snap, its gone! anyway, i dun wanna crib! m supposed to be grown up enough to see things practially! blah.. neway.. so the wedding is happening minus me.. n all the 'oh, why din she come..' n 'i wish she cud..' dun provide enough consolation. i missed the engagement, the sangeet, the mehndi n will too the marriage! the pics were mailed the very next day of the engagement so that i would "not miss" so much! well, that thought did give me marginal relief.. but then the next moment when i saw all those pics n heard all of it from the numerous phone calls that have been coming in to keep me"updated".. i started feelin low all the more! and here's the worst part, u can't really speak ur heart out.. cos that wud make the others "feel bad"! sigh..
neway, today mamma n my bro also left for the wedding while i slog my ass out for my next paper tomm. as u can make out the obvious, i've been soooo dedicated! bshit!
i wish there was still some way i would wake up in the morning n get to know xams were cancelled.. but then there is no way i can reach delhi in a day except flights, tickets of course i wudn't get so early! so i guess the only solace i can find is in the saying "all that happens is for good!" and maybe its true too.. or so i hope! :(
back to books..
damn!