The day finally arrived. She left all hushed up n hurried. I don't know why the tears won't stop. It's not supposed to be this way, its not!

i've never liked hot drinks too much! not tea, not coffee, not hot chocolate.
its even when people describe how they would ideally like to be.. like their imaginary comfort zone.. sitting beside a window with the rain outside forming beads on the glass, two people as one, with fingers interwined, long hair let down casually.. and a steaming cup of coffee beside!
damn, there.. the last bit spoils it for me..
right now, with this cold n fever.. i'd jus like to sit in a balcony on a summer evening with the wind blowing against my face, wearing a three-qtr sleeved grey comfy sweat shirt and long hair let loose.. guitar in hand, cold vanila milkshake beside me.. jus strumming an old song n smiling to myself.. maybe with my diary beside me open n the pages fluttering..
*sigh*

anyway, i cudnt even go to work n now i fear sitting in the A.C class in the evening! my nose is continously running n i feel so weak n feverish. i have no taste in my mouth yet i'm hungry. i feel lazy yet i cant sleep anymore. i wanna write so much but i don't have the energy.
right here, right now, i need a vacation..


this is a song i had learnt in school n i looove it! jus visualise it, its so wonderful! :)

Oh,give me a home where the buffalo roam,
Where the deer and the antelope play;
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Oh, give me a land where the bright diamond sand
Flows leisurely down the stream;
Where the graceful white swan goes gliding along
Like a maid in a heavenly dream.

Home, home on the range,
Where the deer and the antelope play;
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

How often at night when the heavens are bright
With the light of the glittering stars,
Have I stood here amazed and asked as I gazed
If their glory exceeds that of ours.

Home, home on the range,
Where the deer and the antelope play;
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Oh, I love these wild flowers in this dear land of ours;
The curlew I love to hear scream;
And I love the white rocks and the antelope flocks
That graze on the mountain-tops green.

Home, home on the range,
Where the deer and the antelope play;
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

The red man was pressed from this part of the West,
He's likely no more to return
To the banks of Red River where seldom if ever
Their flickering campfires burn.

Home, home on the range,
Where the deer and the antelope play;
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Where the air is so pure, the zephyrs so free,
The breezes so balmy and light,
That I would not exchange my home on the range
For all the cities so bright.

Home, home on the range,
Where the deer and the antelope play;
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Oh, I would not exchange my home on the range,
Where the deer and the antelope play;
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Home, home on the range,
Where the deer and the antelope play;
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the skies are not cloudy all day.

i haven't even met ruby n she will be leaving in a few days.. leaving, yes!
its crazy how things have been running haphazardly.. like it was a different time we used to sit together n giggle over the little things in life.
emotions are clearly just another thing to play with..

i'm being random today.. i feel at my lowest today.. i think i have a real bad cold. today was a waste, i did not study a word. i fear i'm going to let everybody down and even more, let my confidence so low that i may never recover. this result will be my boost, i need it so badly!
help! :(

i wish i had a time machine and i could see where i will be by the end of this year.
*yawn*
good night.

...

i have a bad cold. i have work again tomorrow. i have classes. i need to study. i have to get some sleep. 24 hours is not enough.

Legally Graduate!

i graduated today..
and all that my dad could say was "kal hi toh tujhe god mein khana khilata tha, aaj graduate bhi ho gayi.." :)

Tagged - 24hrs before you die!

i've been tagged on this by John and its my first tag of this kind!
24 hrs before u die, ok now that's freaky!

over the last year my friends have lost a lot of their friends, and every time i heard of something like that my heart skipped a beat to think of it happening to my folks. i don't think i'd be able to keep myself composed if such a day ever came! but, to be honest its much easier to think how it would be had u only 24hrs to live, maybe cos its a selfish thought to pass away silently and not have to bear the eternal pain of staying back and remembering the ones left behind!

If you've seen the movie P.S I Love You, you've probably loved this dialogue too.. and if u haven't i strongly recommend u do watch it, its beautiful!
It goes like..
"We're so arrogant aren't we, so afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it.. we don't realise what a prviledge it is to grow old with someone.."


I always used to tell J that i wanna be in love before i die! :)
ha ha.. can't believe all the sweet stuff we spoke bout as kids!
and then the more u grow, the more u grow above relationship, trust & commitments!
I hate to admit this, but i've always been a dreamer! and just not the usual dreamer, but the DDLJ type of dreamer where every Pooja finds her Rahul.. and as the tagline says "Someone Somewhere Is Made For You!"
So i can totally picturise myself with a flowing dupatta over my head running through fields singing songs! :D
*sigh*
one thing i know for sure, i wud defntly be in love for one true moment before i say goodbye!


Coming to reality.. :)
I love to do little personal things for people i care bout and leave them in a manner that finds them in a pleasant surprise!


If i have exactly 24 hrs from the time i am intimated bout my clock ticking, here's FEW of all that i would like to do:

~ Wake up early for once! :P

Would wake up with the birds chirping and the cool breeze blowing! go for a walk in my neighbourhood and breathe in all the beauty of the world around me i might not have noticed the days i actually lived! Smile at every stranger and make that moment a part of his life as much as it will always remain a part of me in eternity!
Also, having "chai and "jalebi" at a local tea shop would make me SO happy! :)

~ Make a comfortable breakfast with the modest things i've always loved!

~ Watch old family movies and photographs and drink in all my childhood innocence and fun! Laugh remembering those moments with my family! Also, all the wondeful selected movies or songs i could possibly hear! Go through old school shirts and letters and report cards! haha!

~ I don't know how i shall manage this bit, but this is the most important one of them all!
I will forgive you for all the hurt you gave me! Yes, i wanna die peacefully!
And for everyone of you, leave a little (ok, not so little) note behind with my last message. Surprisingly, J and me have been together since childhood but neither of us has ever written a testimonial or letter to each other.. simply cos its just not possible to put some things in words! But if i could possibly do that, i'd write my life to her!
Some wonderful people i've come across in my life, would want to let u know in my own humble way that ur loved! :)

~ A delightful bath and a wonderful lunch with my family! i guess the rest of the afternoon i would be doing the above writing work! phew, how am i ever going to finish all of it!

~ In the evening, sit with people who really matter and jam a little! Sing songs, play the guitar and laugh away to glory! haha!

~ I'd have to speak to a few people personally, afterall some chapters need to be closed in this world itself! :P

~ By the time its night and i'm done with the BEST dinner of my life, jus send a msg to a few people saying goodnight! the usual chit-chat with dad and bro and help mamma with the dishes!

~ i guess it must be 11.30 by the time i'm in my room. Say my prayers and ask god to forgive me for any wrong i've done and bless those i love!
For the last time, rewind my life from the day i was born! :)
Listen to a last song on my celfone, and think of the stupid guy who's a little too late! Love u wherever u may be!


And... Dream awaY! :)
*perfect*



I tag:

Hopeless Romatic!